Our final gift

Lennon’s funeral is something we have spoken about since Lennon was a baby.

When we should of been taking our newborn baby home, and enjoying those first few days of being new parents, we were sitting staring at our tiny baby in his incubator covered in wires and tubes and wondering how long he would survive for.

Christmas Eve – the first time we held Lennon.

Over the years our thoughts and ideas changed. Songs we thought we would use were replaced, the image in my mind of his coffin got bigger, the colour alternated and the outfit he would wear changed.

I always tried to push the thoughts of Lennon’s funeral to the back of my mind. I can’t do that anymore.

I can’t avoid those thoughts – I need to turn them into reality.

I can just about get out of bed in the mornings. Putting one foot in front of the other is zapping my energy. Ordering balloons and helium today took up everything I had left for the day and felt like a mammoth task.

I always hoped I would be strong enough to stand up and speak – I am not. But Ian is, and I know he will do both Lennon and I proud.

Enjoying the sun in Coram Fields after an appointment at Great Ormond St Hospital.

I have one more task to fulfil for my little soldier, maybe the second biggest gift of all from me to him (giving birth to him being the biggest). I hope we can give him the send off he truly deserves. I want people to remember my tough, stubborn, smiling, cheeky, mischievous little boy and to share their favourite stories and memories of him.

And for everyone to be honoured and proud that they played a part in Lennon’s amazing journey through life.

Ian, Lennon, Isla and Florence – Summer 2016. Our last family holiday.

Previous blog post – The days after

3 thoughts on “Our final gift

  1. Dear Nikki , Ian , isla and Florence I
    Feel very blessed to have been part of this amazing family.
    I have so many wonderful memories of Lennon , from a little boy who couldn’t sit alone to one that eventually walked holding my hand.
    So many roller coasters we went though, but an amazing little man who I will miss dearly.
    I can only imagine the pain and heartache you must all be going though. I’m thinking of you everyday and sending lots of love & big hugs to help you though this very difficult time. You are both amazing parents I’ve been blessed to have met , and you allowed me to share so many happy memories with your beautiful little soldier.
    RIP dear Lennon fly height with the angels. You will always be loved and never forgotten.
    Sending all
    My love to you all Gail xxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. His face when you posted the video of him using the walker for the first time. His reaction to a balloon Post Pals sent and most recently I will remember the video of him splashing so happily in the bath. Plus little 2 year old Lennon (or around then when he joined Post pals), first day at school, defying the odds over and over, hug big smile to name just a few.

    Love vikki from Post Pals

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Nikki,Ian

    I can not begin to imagine the feelings you are going through at this moment in time. I feel blessed to have known such a gorgeous character as Lennon was and to have been able to work with Him. I will always remember Lennon zooming around on his walker around Grove Cottage owning the floor with him smiles. Lennon will always be in my memories and I send you all my love, strength and thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

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