Making ends meet

The Guardian published an article written about our financial struggles since Lennon died.

I won’t lie, it was very difficult to talk to a stranger about our financial situation. I talk about grief so easily, but talking about money doesn’t come easy to me.

However, Francis’ compassion and understanding made it easier and I think she has written a very powerful piece.

Both Ian and myself gave up our careers to care for Lennon in the hope of giving him the best life possible. And also because neither of us could put in the effort required to hold down a job whilst getting up every other throughout the night to tend to Lennon’s complex medical needs.

When Lennon died, all of our benefits stopped. Understandably so – we now did not qualify for any of them. The invoices for back dated payments to the exact date of Lennon’s death that arrived shortly afterwards were distressing to say the least. And the thought of returning to work was daunting when all I really wanted to do was hide myself away and grieve for my child.

Both Ian and I pulled on our grown up pants and returned to work. Not to the careers we previously had – too much time had passed. But to low paid jobs with the long term aim of building ourselves new careers.

Not only do we suffer the financial strain, but Isla and Florence have to cope with us working as much as we possibly can. This means that Ian and I are not there for them at a time when they need us the most. There brother has gone and not only are they having to adjust to a life without him, they are having to adjust to Ian and I not being there for them as much as they need us to be and missing out on things that they used to do, like meals out, dance and gymnastics classes.

Yes we lived on benefits, but we also saved the government hundreds of thousands of pounds by providing Lennon with round the clock medical care – If we had of put him into residential care and carried on with a ‘normal’ family life the cost to the state would of been in excess of £300,000 every year.

Would having pots full of money help our grief?

I don’t think anything will stop our grief – it’s here for life. But I do think having money would help bring less strain and a little happiness to our lives.

We want to be able to work and earn our own money like everyone else, but could we not of had a little time to grieve first?!

You can read the article here:

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